Grief
Charles A Corr suggested that individuals may try
out di?erent coping strategies only to reject them.
He also thought that a person may pursue several
strategies at the same time, even if they are not
compatible.
According to the Changing Minds Web site, “we
are not always able to cope with the di?culties
that we face. As a result, we are subject to feelings
of tension and stress, for example the cognitive
dissonance and potential shame of doing something
outside our values. To handle this discomfort we use
various coping methods.” They go on to suggest a
number of types of coping mechanisms:
? Adaptive mechanisms – that o?er positive help.
? Attack mechanisms – that push discomfort onto
others.
? Avoidance mechanisms – that avoid the issue.
? Behavioural mechanisms – that change what we
do.
? Cognitive mechanisms – that change what we
think.
? Conversion mechanisms – that change one thing
into another.
? Defence mechanisms – Freud’s original set.
? Self-harm mechanisms – that hurt ourselves.
Hypnotherapy can help clients to manage their
internal experiences, so that they can move from
feelings of pain and sadness to those of acceptance
and calm. Hypnotherapy can help make the process
of bereavement and mourning less painful and more
manageable by:
? Helping people come to terms with their loss
? Visualizing a positive future and setting goals
? Lowering emotional responses of fear and
loneliness
? Increasing levels of self-esteem
? Overcoming temporary responses such as poor
eating, lack of exercise, etc
? Dealing with unresolved issues with the
deceased
? Celebrating the life of the deceased.
Clients may need help before the funeral. They
may also need help to get through the funeral. And
they will probably need help for a period of time
after the funeral. The funeral doesn’t mark the end
of their feelings of grief.
People who come to see you about grief and
bereavement issues may be experiencing shock and
disbelief at their loss. They will probably be feeling
very sad and may cry a lot. Some people may be
feeling guilty about the things they said or didn’t say.
Or they may feel guilty at their feelings of relief (for
example after a long illness). They may be feeling
angry at the world for taking away their loved one,
or they may feel angry with themselves. They may
8 Hypnotherapy Today