10
GREAT CONVERSATION
2019 ISSUE #2
The Science
of GREAT
Conversation
YOU’RE GOING to a party, networking
event or cocktail hour to meet new
contacts and make connections. However,
you always have a problem figuring out
how to approach people, no matter what
the situation.
Thankfully, there are skills you can hone
and then use in social or business settings.
They may be verbal or nonverbal, and easy
to grasp or require a little practice. I want
to explore the science of great conversation
with you.
How can you make dazzling conversation
with anyone you meet? There is
both an art and a science to effective
communication.
1. BE ANTI-BORING
Everyone starts off conversations the
same way. They say, “What do you do?”
or “Where are you from?” Instead, ask
someone, “What passion projects are you
working on?” or “What gets you up in the
morning?”
2. START OFF STRONG
Start off the conversation with a “how” or
“why” question. People will give you more
thoughtful answers and really think about
why you’re asking them. Say, for instance,
“How did you meet the host?” That way
you’ll learn about the person you’re talking
to, as well as the host.
3. TRIPS AND ADVENTURES
Ask people if they have any trips or fun
adventures coming up.
4. FOSTER EXCITEMENT
Ask people if anything exciting happened
to them that day.
5. STORIES
Tell a story. People love funny anecdotes
and it makes your conversation more
personal right off the bat.
6. BREAK IT DOWN
Break down a question for someone.
Instead of being general and saying, “How
are you doing?” ask, “How’s Fall treating
you so far?” Frame it in the context of time
so he or she can thoughtfully answer the
question.
7. BE THE HIGHLIGHT
Ask a person, “Have any highlights
today?” Not only is this person going to
feel good because he or she gets to talk
about him or herself, but it also starts off
the conversation on a positive note.
8. THE HANDSHAKE
Use a firm handshake when you meet
someone. Don’t do the “death grip,”
but make sure that your firmness level
communicates that you’re confident in
yourself.
9. THE EYES HAVE IT
Make eye contact with someone. Power
gaze at people; this involves looking
at people’s eyes and foreheads, and not
below their mouths. That’s only for social
situations.
10. POWER POSE
Don’t stand slumped over. Instead, do a
power pose. Stand with your feet apart
and your arms loose at your sides. People
are going to be attracted to you and want
to talk to you because you seem confident
and in control.
11. LIKE-DAR
Ask a “like radar” question. This is a
question that will highlight what you
two have in common. For example, you
might ask, “Keeping up with [certain
sport] lately?” or “What are your favorite
restaurants around here?” These questions
and things in common will foster instant
connections.
12. SMILE
Be positive and smile. Make sure your
smile extends to your eyes so that it looks
authentic. People are attracted to positivity,
not negativity.