Huffington Magazine Issue 76-77 | Page 32

Voices hair. If you have bad teeth or some other sort of imperfection, with short hair, you’re putting it front and center. Even if you don’t have a glaring flaw, there’s one thing of which I’m sure: your face is going to look fat. Need further proof? Look at that picture of ole Jennifer Lawrence above and remember that she looked fine before. Now, I have to say, I agree with him and I think this works for both sexes. I am never attracted to guys with short hair, because it makes their faces so fat and ugly, without exception, and I can see their teeth and their unkempt eyebrows and their gross male noses. It’s fucking disgusting and a real lady boner killer. Now, I know a lot of women have had a problem with (bogus) Roger Sterling Jr.’s piece, and not because it’s clearly a first draft. To those ladies who got upset, don’t worry! I wasn’t aware of an election where (forged) Roger Sterling Jr. was elected king of all men. Furthermore, there are lots of men who give zero fucks about hair length. Remember Kanye West’s ex, nearly bald, walking ERIN GIBSON HUFFINGTON 11.24-12.01.13 I am never attracted to guys with short hair, because it makes their faces so fat and ugly, without exception, and I can see their teeth and their unkempt eyebrows and their gross make noses.” sex, Amber Rose? And let’s not forget Frank Sinatra’s nearly lifetime love affair with Mia Farrow. I’d say Sinatra is probably the expert on what’s fuckable, considering he’s banged more chicks than Wilt Chamberlain. Having had a haircut that would make Grace Jones jealous, and in the spirit of being fair and balanced, I’d like to discuss the amazing things about having short hair, in particular, the points that speak to fuckability. Why Women Should Cut Their Hair Short by Peggy Olson #1 Having a girlfriend with shorter hair means she has an extra 40 minutes a day because she’s not having to dry her hair. That’s 40 extra minutes for sex, and that’s pure