Huffington Magazine Issue 76-77 | Page 30

Voices sons why girls should think twice before handing a photo of Michelle Williams to a hair care professional and saying “me have that.” (impostor) Roger Sterling Jr. starts off his opus with a little history on how all men were raised to get boners: None of us grew up looking at or imagining ourselves with women rocking a solid scissor fade. Still, over the past couple of years, there has been a disturbing trend spreading across gender lines: pixie cut. So many hot women are cutting off their boner power centers — Michelle Williams, Carey Mulligan, Beyonce, who, let’s be honest, just showed us what her hair looks like under her millions of wigs, Charlize Theron, (or as my aunt Cathy calls her “Charlyne Theron”), Halle Berry, Miley Cyrus, Sienna Miller, Natalie Portman, and, the woman who I believe put the final nail in the pixie cut boner killing coffin, Jennifer Lawrence. Just playing devil’s haircut here, but I would say these celebrities might actually be pulling it off. It’s common knowledge ERIN GIBSON HUFFINGTON 11.24-12.01.13 So many hot women are cutting off their boner power centers — Michelle Williams, Carey Mulligan, Beyonce, who, let’s be honest, just showed us what her hair looks like under her millions of wigs.” that Hollywood is fueled by boners, and the fact that these ladies are still allowed in Hollywood speaks to their “pulling it off” abilities. And, as far as “pulling it off” with younger boners, as far as high-school-aged boys are concerned, I bet I could go to the Beverly Center and find four hundred 11-15 year old boys at Finish Line who have jerked off to shorthaired Emma Watson. I don’t want to, but I could. (fraudulent) Roger Sterling, Jr. goes on to say: You Will Stand Out, But Not in a Good Way There are certain things about girls that a guy only notices if they are spectacular or spectacularly awful. Tits, ass, legs, and a couple other things stand out regardless, but a girl’s eyes are only worth not-