Huffington Magazine Issue 67 | Page 57

HUFFINGTON 09.22.13 INVISIBLE CASUALTIES straightened his service ribbons. Petty Officer Lipstein, the Navy concluded, “was under a significant amount of stress due to separation from his wife, reoccurring panic attacks, depression, a long term addiction to drugs, the death of his mother, brain surgery, loss of hearing, and a likely medical separation from the Navy.” “Looking at the evidence, his mental capacity was diminished at the time of his death, and he was not able to comprehend the nature of his actions and, therefore, cannot be held mentally responsible for his actions,” wrote Navy Lt. Cmdr. Felix L. Hopkins of the Oceana Naval Air Station, who conducted the investigation. After Joshua died, “I was in a frozen state,” Don told me one day as we sat in his car in a parking lot outside Wilmington. He wore a polo shirt emblazoned with the logo of Navy Riverine Squadron 1. “I was in a state of shock for probably three months. There is a tremendous amount of loss, pain and guilt, shame, anger.” A Navy casualty assistance officer gave Don a batch of material after the funeral, including a brochure from TAPS, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. It provides peer-based emotional support for those who have lost loved ones due to their military service, connects survivors with grief counselors and other resources, and offers semi- “... talking about it helps people who struggle with the shame, and if you don’t deal with that, the shame will eat you up.” nars and retreat camps for kids. Don called and was put in touch with a trained survivor care team member. She was a good listener and he talked, slowly over the months absorbing the facts of Joshua’s life and death. As he began to thaw, Don came to understand some things about the suicide of his son. One was to drop the shame. Stop pretending it didn’t happen. Celebrate the life that was. “My son died by suicide, but I loved him during his lifetime,” he said. “He lived an awesome life. He was a great kid. People saw him as a shining star. I can’t help but ★