Huffington Magazine Issue 64-65 | Page 65

HUFFINGTON 09.01-08.13 INVISIBLE CASUALTIES He could hear moaning and someone shouting, “MadDog Five’s hit!” but it turned out everyone was okay. At least no one was dead or had limbs torn off. “The way it was, when you got hit like that, you got out of the wreckage and said, ‘Whew! We made it!’ If you weren’t bleeding, pretty much you went on and continued with the mission,” he explained. “There was no going to get a head scan or anything like that.” With two weeks left before the battalion was due to rotate home, Mike did what countless other troops have done with a concussion: nothing. His head hurt horribly every day, but he felt deeply responsible for his soldiers and — like many combat leaders — he took personal responsibility for their lives. “I had to get those 174 dudes back home safe. Even though my head hurt so bad I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “What I’m trying to say is that there was no system to help the macho soldier who’s not going to do anything unless he’s bleeding out,” Mike said. “I knew a concussion ought to be checked out. I didn’t know you would possibly have a brain injury.” Or that complications from that injury would eventually drive him toward suicide. When Mike and his soldiers were being processed off active duty at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, they were anxious to get home to their wives and kids. At one point in what seemed like an endless bureaucratic process, Mike filled out a questionnaire about his combat experience and handed it Mike and his wife, Jackie, who he credits with his recovery.