How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 32

Be alert for deletions (omission of referential index,
nominalizations, omission of subject, comparative deletions,
…), subjective remarks, assumptions, general truths,
distortions, wordings which contain modal verbs (must,
mustn’t, can, can’t, shouldn’t, …), generalizations (all, every,
never, always, almost never, …)
Examples :
- I cannot ask her now
you? …
- I have enough of this

: ask : why not, what is stopping
: what exactly is bothering you?

------------Challenge ineffective convictions.
If you feel that the coachee believes:
- that he is worthless unless he’s outstandingly competent
- that he is special or doomed: either good or bad
- that he must prove himself, must have everything he
wants
- that he must be immortal; must be loved, must have
everything he wants
- that he must be immortal, must be loved and cared for
- that he must be made happy by others, must be treated in
a special way
Then ask:
- Is their any evidence for this belief?
- What is the worst that can happen if he gives up his belief?
- What is the best that can happen if he gives up his belief?
- Why should this be so?

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