How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 301

DiSilvestro and Hoover’s constructive confrontation is a structured,
systematic approach that they claim decreases conflict and increases
accountability by connecting the dots between what people want and
what organizations need. They call it, “emotional purpose.”
Constructive confrontation is an example of displacement theory at
work. It reduces conflict in the same way it increases accountability
through clear and well-articulated expectations, follow-up, and
recognition. These qualities force the alternatives—confused and
ambiguous expectations, lack of follow up, and unrecognized
accomplishments—out of the organization along with their negative
consequences.
Circle of Confrontation
The circle of confrontation continuous cycle begins with a conversation
between a team leader and team member that leads to a mutual
commitment, including a written covenant. The covenant is then
constructively confronted on a predetermined, regular basis, in a
specific manner as agreed to in the commitment stage. The third stage
of the circle of confrontation is celebration. Everything positive that
happens is celebrated, from a mere thumbs up for compliance with the
plan to a vacation in the Bahamas as reward for executing a wildly
successful (and profitable) project. Celebration, like commitment and
confrontation, needs to be appropriate to the accomplishment. Because
expectations need to be developed realistically and kept realistic,
because conversation needs to be continuous, and confrontation needs
to be consistent and constructive…the circle of confrontation never
ends.
Constructive confrontation, as the cornerstone of a leadership system,
is an individual and organizational guidance system. Without it, proper
course corrections will be coincidental at best. Together with
commitment and celebration, constructive confrontation is a
premeditated, methodical, and systematic approach to leveling the
leadership playing field.

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