How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 19

It must be threatening; so close to your home, and that
day in day out.
(Deep empathy)
Looks like it really troubles you. You were looking
forward to living in a nice neighbourhood with your
children and now it turns out to be just the opposite.
I got fired last week, out of the blue.
(Understanding)
Gosh, that must have been quite a shock.
(Empathy)
That's terrible, and you thought you would get that
promotion.
(Deep Empathy)
Of course you feel desperate and betrayed. I would really
like to try and help you to get over it.
“Empathy” is the capacity to recognize (and, to some
extent,share) feelings expressed by others and to
understand their circumstances, point of view and thoughts.
Roadblocks to empathy
There are a number of common ‘roadblocks’ that can
prevent empathy (Jarvis et al., 1995).
These include:
- ordering or commanding
- warning or threatening
- arguing or persuading
- moralising
- ridiculing or labelling
- giving advice or providing solutions
It is also important to avoid:
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