How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 18

Understanding, empathy and deep empathy are all in line
and in a way connected. Understanding is more a rational
thing and involves mainly intelligence. Empathy involves
feelings, including your own feelings as a human being and
as coach.
Deep empathy even goes one step further. It goes right into
the inner world of experiencing of the coachee for a short
while. In other words, with deep empathy you can virtually
feel what the coachee must be experiencing. You express the
emotions you feel the coachee has. This can be overdone, not
every coachee expects a strong emotional reaction from his
coach. So use and express deep empathy appropriately and
judiciously.
In these exercises successive understanding, empathy and
deeper empathy are shown.
Mother is connected to all these tubes and can hardly say a
thing anymore. She's also drugged up with medicines.
(Understanding)
That must be an awful situation.
(Empathy)
I can imagine it must be very emotional to see your
mother lying there so helplessly.
(Deep empathy)
I can tell you're suffering, you would so much like for
her to get well but there's nothing you can do about it
and you feel powerless.
Near my house kids hang out; it's very noisy, they fight
regularly, and there's trash everywhere.
(Understanding)
It must be annoying; all that noise, aggression and mess.
(Empathy)
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