How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 17

I actually wanted to stop coming here as I think I'm doing
much better now.
I'm glad you're feeling a lot better and of course you're
free to stop whenever you want. However I've noticed
there are still some things that seem to trouble you...
I haven't touched a drink in weeks, it's clear I'm not an
alcoholic... (hiccup)
Being an alcoholic might be too strong a word, but
something tells me you still do have a drink regularly.
I don't know what's wrong with me or where to start.
We can take our time. You sound very sad, maybe you
could tell me what has happened?
8. Empathy and deeper empathy
In coaching you want to build up a trusting relationship with
your coachee in a short timespan. The coachee has often
heard from people around him things like 'it's nothing to
worry about', 'it will be all right', 'don't get worked up, you
only make it worse' and more well intended things that
unintentionally often made him shut up. With you he is
allowed, or rather he should open up and get rid of this
threshold. So you want to let him know he's at the right
address with his story, his emotions and how he experiences
things.
By showing him empathy, you welcome his inner
experiences and invite him to explore his own feelings.
Empathy is not a technique by itself, it is often part of
paraphrasing or reflecting. You not only express empathy in
the words you use, but also in your modulation, intonation
and by showing the right feelings.

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