How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 95

them the benefit of the doubt. Praise and celebrate progress.
State the qualities they showed, that is: WHO they have to be for
having accomplished the action or having achieved the
awareness described.
Example: Say “I want to acknowledge the courage / the
persistence / the creativity you’ve shown in completing /
executing / handling … In spite of ….”
It doesn’t help to stick labels to people’s thoughts or behavior. It
doesn’t help to call coaches “lazy, uncommitted or uninterested”
when no progress has been made since the last meeting, nor to
tell them they are handling things wrong. Instead, discover the
resistance or obstacles that caused the setback by asking
questions: find out why things are the way they are, how they
feel about it, what is slowing them down.
Also, remember: coaching is not about your success, but about
the coachee’s! Nobody gives a damn about how good you are,
until they know how much you care!

6. Don’t offer advice, ready made answers or easy
solutions
A lot of people are sick of being told what to do and how to do it.
They do not want to hear “This is just a phase they are going
through”, or that they do not have to care because “things could
be a lot worse” or “everything will fall in its right place.”
If they did not care, they would not have come to you in the first
place. The mere fact that they want you to coach them is a clear
indication that they feel they need support to define and/or
realize their dreams. They have a story to tell that they may feel
is not listened to and taken serious.
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