How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 96

So what they basically want from you is not that you tell them
what to do, but that you listen to them and help them find out
for themselves.

7. Don’t enter into discussion
“Pushing back a wave only creates a bigger wave.” Argumen ts
are never really won. Instead of arguing, try to find out what
causes this behaviour. There may be an elephant in the room,
an obstacle that has not yet been named or dealt with properly.
8.

Monitor the balances

An important balance is the one between reason, emotion and
behaviour.
People cannot function properly if they are out of balance.
Knowledge (reason, thinking), Feelings and Actions (behaviour)
concerning specific subjects or situations must be in balance;
otherwise people will be unable to undertake the right actions.
Typically, what we hear then is that they know something is
important, but could not force themselves to take the right
action because they lacked the necessary energy, or were too
angry; and then decided that the matter might not have been all
that important or urgent after all.
Restoring the balance, also called “centering”, requires being
aware of the dissonance. Pointing out what is happening and
asking the right questions or exploring the emotions involved
will lead to the required shift in balance.

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