How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 93

It helps therefore to be as well informed as possible about our
factual situation and about the road ahead, and to see things in
perspective. This way, we prevent that negative events cause
negative feelings, which in turn cause negative actions leading
to more negative feelings etc…
People’s main limits are their beliefs about what is possible for
them. Watch for processes that violate semantic wellformedness. Challenge any irrational fears, beliefs and
convictions that you discover. Insist on being specific when they
express themselves in general terms or use universal quantifiers
(all, every, never, always…). Challenge them to think deeper
when they use modal operators of necessity or possibility
(should, shouldn’t, must, can’t, won’t…)
Ask:
- What, how, who, about what,… specifically?
- Surely you do not really mean “always”: there might be some
exceptions!
- What would happen if you did / didn’t
- What exactly is stopping you from …
In stead of allowing ourselves to go along in negative stories and
risk slipping into a negative spiral, we must make the necessary
time to relax; to detach and look at things from a distance; to
think about, plan, do and share experiences that enhance our
lives.
Small actions help to avoid entering - or to curb - a negative
spiral:
- Avoid negative language, reframe sentences that sound
negative
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