How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 91

Showing your support without telling the other what to do:
- Ask: “What could be done to make things better?”
- I will help you in any way I can to overcome this setback
What the coachee needs to learn or do is:
- Set correct and smart goals
- Concentrate on one goal at the time
- Plan good action steps
- Proceed towards their goal with enhanced commitment
and accountability
- Deal with setbacks and celebrate successes

3. Be congruent (authentic)
Congruence or congruity, also referred to as authenticity or
wholeness, is the result of being unconditionally accepted. If a
child is accepted only on the condition that they behave in ways
that comply with their parents’ standards, than the influence of
the parents will deform the self-image of the child and the child
will behave in a way that does not necessarily correspond with
how they really are.
Lack of wholeness leads to faking: differences between the
visible reactions and behaviour of a person and his inner
feelings and experiences. A person may feel frustrated, but
claim he is feeling perfectly happy and satisfied.
If a coachee feels the coach is not congruent, chances are that
coaches may
- not feel at ease
- encounter difficulties themselves in expressing honestly what
they feel
- feel more vulnerable and insecure themselves
93