How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 90

Typical expressions related to active listening are:
- If I understand correctly, you think that …
- So, what you are saying is …
- If you think …, then I can see why this situation makes you
upset
- I understand why you are so ….
- Wow, I want to acknowledge the courage / maturity /
persistence / … you have shown in speaking up to … /
in taking this initiative … / in working so long …
- In reply to a statement, ask : how do you know?
- In reply to “I must”:
what would happen if you don’t?
- In reply to “I cannot”:
what is stopping you?
- In reply to “nothing, all, always, never …”:
ask to think of exceptions
- If you don’t know what to answer, ask: “Why do you say that?”
2.

Be empathic and supportive

Empathy adds extra depth to the quality of the communication.
Active listening already is a way of being empathic. Other ways
for showing deeper empathy are:
Reflecting the coachee’s emotions
Show that you not only understand how the other’s point of
view and his emotions, but reflect his emotions to prove that
you are genuinely interested in the impact the situation has on
the coachee:
- How does it all seem to you now?
- How does this make you feel?
- I can see this situation is making you suffer
- I understand this makes you feel desperate and betrayed
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