How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 144

Be aware of "should-ing" and "musturbation" (these simply
mean the occurrence of problem causing "should" and "must"
DEMANDS in your thinking).
Here are some things you might think or believe, in which case
these could be your "iB’s” (Irrational Beliefs):
• I MUST NOT feel overwhelmed with responsibilities
• I CAN'T STAND IT when I feel (bored, sad, lonely, whatever)
• People MUST not take me for granted
• Other people SHOULD behave in the way I want
• I SHOULD be able to have a drink I NEED a drink
"NEED" is often interpreted as MUST HAVEbe aware of such invisible MUSTS
• They MUST see it my way
• I MUST NEVER display weakness
• The sun MUST shine tomorrow
• People who do bad things MUST ALWAYS be punished etc.
Try to find some Activating situations, iB's and Consequences of
your own and do this exercise with them. Often it is easier to
start with the C- the Consequences of the A and B and work back
to see what they were.
Whenever you feel upset, it can be a useful exercise to see if
an ABC can be done on the situation and your thinking
about it. You never know, you might just feel better. Get into the
habit of doing this regularly and you might feel better overall.
Moreover, do please note; this is a tool not just a theory.
Success with this (and other) cognitive techniques is dependent
on your writing out your own examples and making it part of
the way you think.
(sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
http://www.stressgroup.com/abcscrashcourse.html)

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