How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 143

You can make an ABC exercise really short; A. (Activating situation) Drunks walking past outside, making some noise. B. (irrational Belief (or IB)I have about A) They SHOULD NOT make any noise. C. (Consequences of having those beliefs about A) I feel angry, etc. D. (Dispute the irrational Belief/s in B) WHY should not they make any noise? E. (Effective new thinking) Drunk people do make noise, it is what they are good at- it is like a natural talent for them. I will CHOOSE not to upset myself about this. In addition, you can do this on many situations that bother you and reclaim your peace of mind, just look for the DEMAND and turn it into a PREFERENCE. Here is another one... A. (Activating situation) I tried to do something and failed B. (irrational Belief I have about A) I must always be successful C. (Consequences of believing B) I feel bad, depressed, etc. D. (Dispute the Irrational Belief in B) Where is it written in stone that I must I always be successful? E. (Effective new thinking to replace B) I would prefer always to be successful but let us be realistic- that isn't very likely, is it- I am human and humans are fallible, therefore do not succeed in everything they attempt. If success is important, then I will work harder recognizing that failure may occur again. That's it- that is how to do ABC's. Try this technique with something that is bothering you. Try to keep it as simple as you can while you get used to the ideas involved. 145