How to Coach Yourself and Others Popular Models for Coaching | Page 128

coachee’s demeanour. Mirroring or reflecting is not the same as imitating, but by presenting similar demeanours as coachee’s, they will subconsciously feel that you have much more in common with them than may actually be the case. - You can mirror or match language, including rate of speech and vocabulary used, breathing, voice, moods, movements, energy level, … Empathic listening Empathic listening basically is acknowledging the coachee’s feelings and reflecting them. The subject is treated more in detail in an other part of this book. Breaking the mirror There are two sides to every coin. If you feel the need to create distance or to break the synchronization because you want coachee to get out of their comfort zone, or in order to show disagreement: stop mirroring and behave differently from the coachee. 2. AD is for Ask about Difficulties What you want to achieve is turning perfectionists with problems and difficulties into explorers with challenges and possibilities. It is necessary therefore to collect sufficient information. You want to know about what the coachee really wants, their needs, concerns, anxieties and difficulties, their views of the needs and concerns of other relevant people affecting the situation. 130