How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 84

 Rejecting, refusing or making a complaint or bringing unpleasant news
correctly
Among the many skills, the one I enjoy sharing most is one of the simplest. It’s the
Sandwich Technique: a tool managers use when they have to address a troubling
situation.
It’s easy and effective. Compliments and positive statements “sandwich” each side of the
unpleasant news, thus making it easier to digest.
Follow these tips for best results:
1. Begin the conversation with a genuine compliment and positive statement about the
person in a non-judgmental, calm, and congenial tone of voice.
2. When moving into the meat of the matter, use transition words such as regrettably,
unfortunately, or however.
3. Be specific. It’s best to state no more than two items to improve. This is not the time
to air your laundry list of gripes.
4. Remain calm throughout and speak in a low and even tone of voice. State the facts
and don’t get emotional.
5. Maintain an open and inviting body language. You don’t want to appear closed off,
with your arms or hands folded.
6. When an apology is warranted, don’t skirt it.
 Accept personal responsibility for your actions and those of your organization.
 Admit: Publicly acknowledge that you have made a mistake.
 Apologize: Offer an apology. Say “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” and show sincere
regret
 Act: Take action to deal with the immediate consequences of a mistake.
Suggest specific ways to resolve the matter so the two of you can move forward.
This is a good time to get others involved by asking for suggestions and trusting
their judgment.
 Amend: your error can cause undue hardship to oth ers. The amends made
should fit the problem.
 Attend: Pay close attention to the reactions of those who are affected, ask for
feedback, and be non-defensive in listening to constructive criticism. This should
also help you avoid unintentional breaches of trust in the future.
7. End with positive and encouraging statements that will help renew the relationship
and allow everyone involved to feel good about the conversation that just took place.
8. If the other person reacts with “and now?”, “so what am I to do now?” than you might
add one or more suggestions. Don’t sell your alternative solutions however: a solution is
best accepted when formulated by the other person himself.
9. Follow up a few days later to see how the person felt about the conversation and
confirm all is resolved or if further discussion is needed.