How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 85

Some Ways To decline a request
If you are not sure how to do so, here are some ways for saying “no”. Use the method
that best meets your needs in any given situation.
1. An example from Stephen Covey:
“Sandra, I appreciate so much your inviting me to be part of this. I feel honoured by it.
For a number of reasons, I won’t be participating myself. But I want you to know how
much I appreciate your invitation.”
2. Use positive language:
Don’t say: “you’re wrong”, but: “that’s an interesting point!”, “excellent idea!” “Indeed!”
… followed by: “have you considered …?”
3. If you are not interested at all
“No, I’m not able to” OR “no, I can’t”
4. If you are too busy:
“I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” Or “No, I don’t have
enough time right now”
If it makes things easier, you can also share what you’re working on so the person can
understand better. But only if you wish to do so. Do not feel obliged to explain. If you
do explain: keep it simple and in no way make detailed excuses for not being able to
comply. Keep in mind that providing excuses gives the people a reason to contest your
decision.
5. If you are interested, but are unable to comply due to your schedule:
“Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at
X time?” OR “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.”
By suggesting another time (at yr convenience), the person doesn’t feel blown off.
6. If a proposal doesn’t meet your needs
“This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.”
It helps as the person knows it’s nothing wrong about what he/she is offering, but that
you are looking for something else. At the same time, by saying you’ll keep him/her in
mind, it signals you are open to future opportunities.
7. If you feel you don’t have the resources to help
“I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”
Learn to say no to requests that don’t meet your needs, and once you do that you’ll find
how easy it actually is. You’ll get more time for yourself, your work and things that are
most important to you. I know I do and I’m happy I started doing that.