How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 22

The Prince's Gift
The Prince of Chi was at war with the Prince of Chu. He decided he needed the support
of a neighbouring prince and so asked his son-in-law, Chun-Yu, to go and plead on his
behalf. Chun-Yu asked what gift he was to take and his father-in-law gave him the
derisory amount of a hundred pounds of silver. Chun-Yu knew that this would be
insulting to the neighbour and, not wishing to insult his father-in-law, he began to
chuckle.
"Why are you laughing?" asked his father-in-law.
"Well, this morning, I saw a farmer sacrificing a pig's foot and a single cup of wine and
asking the gods for an abundant crop, a full garden and bursting barns and I couldn't
help thinking that a man who asked so much should offer so little."
The Prince of Chi at once saw the point and increased the value of his gift.

Indirect Influence: 7 Techniques
What Chun-Yu in this story knew was that approaching his father-in-law directly would
amount to disagreeing with him, criticising his choice, and setting himself up in
opposition to him. When power is with the other person, none of these approaches is
likely to succeed. So here are 7 other techniques to use to indirectly influence your boss.
1. What if?:
a "What if...?" question is a hypothetical way of gently suggesting your solution to a
problem. "What if we computerised...?
2. 2nd person quote:
by talking about your solution as if it were happening to someone else, your boss will
relate the story to his or her own situation. "I know Accounts had the same problem and
used consultants..."
3. softeners:
softeners put proposals in ways that give the boss room to think..."Do you think it might
help if...? "I wonder whether...? "Maybe..."
4. visual metaphor:
the visual metaphor helps the boss to see things in a different way. "This problem's like
untangling spaghetti..."
5. repeated "yes":
several repeated "yeses" from the boss put them in a favourable frame of mind for your
solution.
"We do need more business, don't we?"
"We need more revenue, wouldn't you agree?"
"A computer would be more efficient, wouldn't it?"
6. presupposition:
a presupposition gets your boss to mentally accept your solution. "What software would
we need for a computer like this?"