How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Page 114

4. Negotiation is necessary
Wish list: We often can’t get exactly what we want, but knowing what we want is
a good starting point.
Sacrifice: What can we possibly give up for the sake of a positive outcome for both
parties?
6. Stress
Extra responsibility, less sleep, lower expendable income, and never-ending bills can
make us more stressed than we even realize. Stress exacerbates many other
conditions, such as: depression, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, and colds, as well
as others.
The good news is:
• There are many simple ways to reduce our stress levels that are very effective.
• By managing our stress levels on a regular basis, we are likelier to remain more
relaxed, and decrease stress quicker and easier in the future.
Managing Stress
• Step away from the stressing situation if possible
• Practice Mindfulness: Focus on the in-and-out of your breath for a few minutes, and
concentrate only on that. If thoughts or feelings come up during this exercise, that’s
fine, but quickly refocus on your breathing. This helps you calm down and gain
perspective.
• If you need to vent, find a friend, family member, or trusted colleague who you can
trust to listen and maybe offer helpful suggestions.
• Once you are calm, think about the stressful situation in a different way.
– How can you change it?
– How can you better cope with it?
– Have you tried some alternative ways of dealing with the situation or person?
7. Boundaries
• An important part of emotional intelligence that is often ignored is people’s boundaries.
• What might be perfectly appropriate to you may be inappropriate or uncomfortable for
someone else.
• When someone’s boundaries are crossed, it can have negative results, such as:
–
–
–
–
–

Anger
Closed off to your message
Sadness
Distrust
Lack of focus; distractibility

 If you sense that you have crossed the line with someone, apologize, and proceed
with caution.