How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Seite 112

Sometimes the problem is not difficult people, but it is people trying too hard to please
everyone. This is a losing battle in which no one is happy in the end.
• This most likely comes from a lack of confidence and self-esteem, but it could also
come from not knowing how to deal with difficult people.
How to handle “attack criticism” in front of a group.
– Draw the critic into a conversation where he or she is free to voice any concerns or
doubts.
– If the critic is not letting up, try to lighten up the mood with a short, positive
comment, and move on.
– Rather than confront the critic - which could cause embarrassment and more criticism
- address possible concerns in your next few sentences and check for change in mood.
How to help the “withholder” to open up and help avoid passive stalemates that waste
time and aggravate?
– Ask specific and open-ended questions directed toward that person (be subtle and
somewhat gentle so as to not seem threatening)
– Open up a little yourself; give a little more.
– Do not waste too much time on someone unwilling to participate in a dialogue; try a
couple of times, but then move on to others.
– Empathize. What is causing this person to withhold? Is he or she shy? Having a hard
time? Not understanding? Try to think of this person’s perspective and change your
behavior accordingly.
– Directly mention that he or she seems to be withholding, and find out if this is because
he or she needs time to open up, or are you being offensive, or unclear, and so on?
How to handle the “always right person”?
– It can be tricky when you are talking to someone who knows everything already, but
we can get out gracefully with some patience, positive attitude, an open mind, and a
willingness to listen and learn.
– It may sound like a joke, but maybe we could learn something from the ‘know-it-all.’
How?
• Ask questions
• Challenge Mr. or Ms. Know-It-All with a bit of healthy debate or asking for sources of
the knowledge.
• If this stops feeling productive and starts feeling petty or fake, do not take the bait
that this person is putting out for you. Stop responding and move on to others who
are more receptive.