How to Coach Yourself and Others Influencing, Inter Personal and Leadership Skills | Seite 111

4. Nonverbal Communication: Yes, but what do you REALLY mean?
• We all know that nonverbal communication is at least as important as verbal
communication, but how can this knowledge help us in everyday interactions?
• Whether you are a speaker or a listener, sender or receiver, paying attention to body
language can guide you to a more positive outcome.
1. Does the listener seem receptive with open body language, or defensive (if minds are
open, bodies tend to be more open : not holding barriers between you and them,
palms up, calm and relaxed face)
2. If you are the speaker, do you seem relaxed, knowledgeable, and open to discussion,
or do you seem domineering, accusatory, and a know-it-all?
– Palms up or arms at your sides rather than pointing or pounding a desk, looking
people in the eyes, opening your own body language,
– check the tone of your voice: is it friendly, or does it sound like you are barking?
Are you speaking at a reasonable speed and volume?
Important:
Nonverbal communication is very contextual and individual. Never assume someone’s
feelings based on one or two common behaviors.
1. Rather, use your suspicions as an opportunity to ask your audience about their
reactions or to experiment with your own body language.
2. Maybe a slight change would make a big difference in effectiveness!
5. Dealing with difficult people
Difficult people come in many forms:
The provocateur: purposely says inflammatory, unnecessary or off-topic comments in
order to get a reaction from you
The withholder: does not volunteer any information, answers with very short responses
that are not helpful
The sarcast: does not take things seriously; puts a negative and somewhat mocking spin
on your message
The critic: nothing is ever good enough: nothing is enlightening; the process is supid;
anywhare else would be more enjoyable
The shy one: in contrast to the withholder, the shy one may want to cooperate, but is
difficult to draw out, does not give helpful responses, and isnot easy to read; may seem
uninterested in your subject matter due to self-conscious behavior.
Whether someone is trying to be difficult, or just has a gift, we need to have some
strategies to deal with these people while keeping our cool.
1. Confront their attitude with a question (e.g. “Maybe you disagree with that statement;
could you tell me your view about that?”
2. Draw difficult people into a friendly dialogue to hopefully lighten up the mood and feel
more positive for everyone.
3. If all else fails, ignore the problem person, and think about all of the positive people
instead. This way you will not be weighted down by one person’s negativism