How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 75

Whenever you can, match the other person’s breathing in pace and
depth.

4.2.5 Match the Way the Person Deals with
Information
This is not the same advice as matching the other person’s way of
thinking. Instead, this advice refers to matching the ‘chunk size’ of
information that the person is comfortable dealing with. For example, do
they want to take information one small detail, or chunk, at a time? Or are
they a ‘big picture’ person and want to just get the broad strokes
overview?
Match the ‘chunk size’ of information that the other person is most
comfortable dealing with.
This is a challenge for many people because if you are a detail-oriented
person, you will naturally feel that it is important to convey information to
the other person in small, specific chunks. But if that person is a ‘big
picture’ person and you attempt to feed them every tiny detail, they are
going to get bored, overwhelmed, or upset. Since you want to influence
the other person, and since you are the one that understands how
important using the right ‘chunk size’ of information is, you should adapt
the preference of the other person. Not doing so can quickly turn against
you when it comes to rapport.

4.2.6 Match Common Experiences
Matching common experiences is about finding some commonality to talk
about. We might attempt to match experiences, interests, backgrounds, or
acquaintances. This is often the first thing we attempt to do when we meet
someone new – we look for things we have in common. It’s a natural, fast
way to build rapport. We ask where they are from, what they do, or how
75