How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 74

When you are in a situation where you want to convey rapport with
another person, you can intentionally mirror their body language. If you
are standing in the hallway and they lean to one side, mirror their action.
If they sit back and relax, do the same. You are sending subconscious
signals that you are on their side, which is paving the path to persuasion.
You can also use this tool to gauge whether or not others are being
persuaded by what you are saying. Are they using words that express
agreement, but sitting all wound up with crossed arms and legs? Unless
they just happen to be cold, chances are that there is some matter still
unresolved in their mind. You may have persuaded them at a superficial
level, but they aren’t yet entirely convinced. You can use this signal as
information to you that you still need to do some explaining or ask some
additional questions.

4.2.3 Match the Person’s Voice
You can also match the tone of voice and the speed at which a person
talks. For example, if they are a fast talker, try to speak faster yourself. If
they happen to speak slowly, watch your own pace and slow it down.
Also be sure that you don’t let their slow speaking aggravate you, a sure
way to damage your rapport! If you are communicating with a person who
has an accent that is different than yours, also be careful that you don’t
unconsciously mimic their accent. This can be seen as offensive. You will
know that you are being effective at influencing the other person if they
begin to match your voice.

4.2.4 Match the Person’s Breathing
Sure, we each have a different rate and depth of breathing when we are
not thinking about it. If you are rather fit and the person you are speaking
to is not and you are walking to a meeting together, chances are you won’t
be able to put this tool into use. But whenever you can, try to match the
other person’s breathing in pace and depth. Breathe in when they do and
exhale when they do. This is another subconscious way of indicating that
you are in support or agreement with the other person and can help you
build deeper rapport.

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