How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 232

Some people always seem to be relaxed and mellow. Others seem to be
constantly active or vivacious. Seek to mirror your prospect's energy
level. This will be another subtle way you are in sync with your prospect.
This technique is also effective when giving a group presentation: Match
the overall energy level present in the room, or adopt the level of energy
emanating from the group.
Breaking the Mirror
Certainly, there are occasions when you may not want to mirror someone
else. For example, a lawyer will often seek to create anxiety or uneasiness
in a witness. To accomplish this, the lawyer needs to avoid mirroring.
While the witness is slumped back in the seat looking at the ground, the
lawyer may hover or stand rigidly and look intensely at the witness's face.
Have you ever noticed or felt the uneasiness when someone stood in the
middle of a conversation where everyone was seated? Have you ever
experienced the awkwardness of glancing at your watch when you're in
the middle of a conversation with someone and they notice? "Breaking the
mirror" breaks the synchronization that makes everyone feel calm and
comfortable. If you need to break the mirror, simply stop mirroring and
sit, speak, or gesture differently from the person you're dealing with. You
can create even further distance by altering your demeanor abruptly or
suddenly.
As you study persuasion, you must realize that connecting with your
audience is critical. Many persuaders don't know how to maintain that
rapport throughout the entire persuasive situation. You see people in sales
break the ice, find similarities, build rapport for the first five minutes, and
then launch into their presentation. All of a sudden, they get serious and
change their demeanor. What is the prospect going to think? The person
he has been talking to for the past five minutes has now changed. Which
one is the real person? The two were getting along, having fun, and all of
a sudden, without warning, the salesperson becomes serious and dives
into a sales pitch. This breaks rapport and seems incongruent to the
prospect. You both know why you are there and what the ultimate goal
will be, so continue to build on that rapport.
Connectivity takes time, research, and practice to master. You need to
learn