How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 231

people tend to match each other in their body language and their attitudes?
For example, when two people greet each other, they typically tend to use
the same posture and behave with the same demeanor. As a Persuader,
you will make skillful and conscientious use of mirroring. Mirroring
Language
You will be amazed at the effectiveness of using vocabulary or "lingo"
similar to that of your prospect. Pick up on and use some of the words or
phrases that your prospect uses. You may also find it helpful to mirror his
rate of speech. If he speaks in a slower and more relaxed tone, you can do
the same. Nevertheless, be sure to keep the enthusiasm high. If he speaks
quickly, feel free to do the same.
Matching Breathing
See if you can adopt the same breathing pattern as your prospect. In doing
so, it is helpful to observe the rise and fall of your prospect's chest or
shoulders for cues. Of course, use your peripheral vision to do this so you
are always maintaining eye contact. Synchronized breathing between you
and your prospect is such a subtle thing, yet it creates connectivity.
Matching Voice
This is different from matching language. It refers to the actual tone or
inflection of your prospect's voice. Be very careful, however, that you do
not come across as mimicking. The "mirrored" voice you use should
never be so different or foreign from your own that you arouse suspicion.
Just minor and subtle adjustments in tone are all that are necessary to get
the desired results.
Mirroring Moods
When you reflect your prospect's mood, you give validation to what he is
saying and feeling. We often verbally mirror another's mood by restating
what he or she just said: "So, what I hear you saying is . . ." or "I think I
would feel that way too, if I also experienced. . . ." Be sure when you
mirror your prospect's mood that your tone is very sincere. When you
sincerely acknowledge your prospect's comments, concerns, and feelings,
your persuasive power increases.
Matching Energy Level
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