How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 224

[15]L. Zunin and N. Zunin, Contact: The First Four Minutes (New York:
Ballantine Books, 1986).
[16]Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (New York: Simon
& Schuster / Pocket Books, 1936), p.139.
[17]Malcom L. Kushner, The Light Touch (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991)
p. 18.

Rapport: The Instant Connection
Rapport is the secret ingredient that makes us feel a tangible and
harmonious link with someone else. It is equivalent to being on the same
wavelength with the other person. Rapport is the key that makes mutual
trust materialize.
Have you ever met a perfect stranger and just hit it off? Finding plenty to
talk about, you almost felt as if you had met before. It just felt right. So
comfortable were you in talking about practically anything that you lost
track of time. You developed such a strong bond with that person that you
knew what he was going to say. Everything just clicked between the two
of you and you felt very close to this person. It might have been a physical
attraction, or it might have just entailed being on the same wavelength.
You felt your ideas were in sync and you enjoyed your time with each
other. This is rapport. When there is rapport, we can differ in our opinions
with someone else but still feel a connection or bond with that person.
Rapport can even exist between two people who share very few
similarities.
In our discussion of rapport, we are going to elaborate on two concepts:
body language and mirroring. Both of these ideas will help you to develop
rapport faster.
Body Language: Attracts or Distracts
Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly reading and being read by
others. Even without the utterance of words, the language of the body
speaks volumes. Often, interpreting body language is a subconscious
thing. We may not make a conscientious effort to think through all the
details of why someone has just folded their arms across their chest and
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