How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 223

you've got people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost
anything." Humor may divert attention away from the negative context of
a message, thereby interfering with the ability of listeners to carefully
scrutinize it or engage in counterarguments. If listeners are laughing at the
jokes, they may pay less attention to the content of a message. Humor can
"soften up" or disarm listeners.
Humor must be used cautiously, however. If used inappropriately, it can
be offensive and may cause your audience to turn against you. Humor
should only be used as a pleasant but moderate distraction. As a rule of
thumb, if you are generally not good at telling jokes, don't attempt it when
you are in a persuasion situation. Be sure that you have good material.
Non-funny humor is not only ineffective but irritating. Modify your
humor so that it is appropriate for your audience.
Smile
The safest way to increase people skills is to give away smiles. A smile is
free, generates a great first impression, and shows happiness, acceptance,
and confidence. Your smile shows that you are pleased to be where you
are, meeting this person. As a result, he in turn becomes more interested
in meeting you. Smiling also conveys a feeling of acceptance, which
makes your listener more trusting of you. It has been shown that sales
representatives who smiled during the sales process increased their
success rate by 20 percent. However, as with traditional humor, use a
smile appropriately.
Respect
In order for your audience to take your message seriously, they have to
have some level of respect for you. The more they respect you, the more
successful you will be. Building respect often takes time, but there are
things you can do to facilitate it. You need to show gratitude — be
thankful for what others do for you. Never criticize others or talk about
your problems. People want to talk about two things: themselves and their
problems. If you listen when people tell you their problems, they will
think you are wise and understanding. Remember, how others feel about
you is often influenced by how you make them feel about themselves.
Being a person who makes other people feel good will go a long way
toward increasing your likeability in their eyes.
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