How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 219

An especially apt illustration can be found in a study done by
psychologists at Columbia University. Researchers placed wallets on the
ground containing $2.00 in cash, a check for $26.30, the "owner's" ID,
and a letter giving evidence that the wallet had already been lost before.
The letter was written to the owner from the original finder, expressing
his intentions to return the wallet as soon as possible. The letter was
sometimes written in perfect English, while other times it was written in
poor English, as though created by a foreigner. Researchers wanted to see
whether the wallet would be returned more frequently when finders felt
some commonality with the writer of the letter. The study found that only
33 percent of the respondents returned the wallet when the person who
wrote the letter was seen as dissimilar, while 70 percent returned the
wallet when they thought they were similar to the letter writer.[10]
Do you remember all the "cliques" in junior high, high school, or even
college? People associate and interact with those they view as similar to
themselves. Cliques are often based on such commonalities as gender,
age, educational background, professional interests, hobbies, and ethnic
background. In one study, researchers examined the social networks of
prison inmates.[11] Their "cliques" were typically centered on
commonalities of race, geographical origin, and the types of crime
committed. One group of three men stood out to the researchers because
they shared a tight companionship yet seemed to have no common
backgrounds. Just as the study was coming to a close, the three men
escaped together, demonstrating that we also build alliances based on
common goals.
Researchers McCroskey, Richmond, and Daly say there are four critical
steps to similarity: attitude, morality, background, and appearance.[12]
When receiving a persuasive message, we ask the following questions
subconsciously:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Does the speaker think like me?
Does the speaker share my morals?
Does the speaker share my background?
Does the speaker look like me?

Of the four similarity factors, attitudes and morals are the most
important.[13] Effective Persuaders are always looking for similarities or
common beliefs to form the basis of common foundations with their
prospects. We want to b