How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate

whom we can relate. We see real-world examples of this in advertisements. We want to see people we can identify with, and the advertising execs accommodate us. When we see a particular commercial, we think, "Hey, he is just like me! He doesn't have time to pick up his socks, either. That couple has a messy, cluttered house, too." We see ads showing the average Joe or Jill because they create that similarity. Your audience will connect with you when they perceive the similarity. O'Keefe found two important points regarding similarity and persuasion. First, the similarity must be relevant to the subject or issue being persuaded. Second, to persuade someone, the similarities must involve positive rather than negative qualities.[14] [8]P. Suedfeld, S. Bocher, and C. Matas, "Petitioner's Attire and Petition Signing by Peace Demonstrators: A Field Experiment," Journal of Applied Social Psychology (1971): 278–283. [9]T. Emswiller, K. Deaux, and J. E. Willits, "Similarity, Sex and Requests for Small Favors," Journal of Applied Psychology (1971): 284–291. [10]H. A. Hornstein, E. Fisch, and M. Holmes, "Influence of a Model's Feeling About His Behavior and His Relevance as a Comparison Other on Observers' Helping Behavior," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (1968): 222–226. [11]H. Russell Bernard and Peter Killworth, "The Search for Social Physics," Connections 20, 1 (1997): 16–34. [12]J. C. McCroskey, V. P. Richmond, and J. A. Daly, "The Development of a Measure of Perceived Homophily in Interpersonal Communication," Human Communication Research (1975): 323–332. [13]Bernard Asbell, with Karen Wynn, What They Know About You (New York: Random House, 1991), pp. 28–33. [14]D. J. O'Keefe, Persuasion: Theory and Research (Newbury Park, Calif.: Sage, 1990). People Skills: Winning Instant Acceptance from Others The ability to work well with people tops the list for common skills and habits of highly successful people. Studies show that as much as 85 220

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