How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 218

Similarity: Similar Is Familiar
Similarity theory states that familiar objects are more liked than less
familiar ones. The same holds true with people: We like people who are
similar to us. This theory seems to hold true whether the commonality is
in the area of opinions, personality traits, background, or lifestyle.
Consequently, those who want us to comply with their wishes can
accomplish that purpose by appearing similar to us in a variety of ways.
Studies show that we tend to like and are more attracted to those who are
like us and with whom we can relate. If you watch people a party, you
will see them instantly gravitate towards people who seem to be similar to
themselves. I can remember walking in a foreign country, taking in the
unfamiliar sights and sounds, and then running into someone from my
own country. We could have been from opposites sides of the nation, but
there was an instantaneous bond between us, all because we had
something in common in a mutually unfamiliar place.
Have you ever heard the saying, "People buy from people they like"? This
is true even in the judicial system. If jurors feel that they share some
common ground with you and, better yet, like you — even subconsciously
— for that similarity, then you will have a markedly better chance of
winning your case. Anytime we establish something about ourselves that
others will identify with, we increase our persuasive powers. In one
particular study, antiwar demonstrators were more inclined to sign
petitions of those similarly dressed, and often didn't even bother to read
the petition before signing![8]
Similarly, we gravitate toward people who dress like us. In the 1970s,
when young people tended to dress in either "hippie" or "straight" fashion,
researchers studied the effects of clothing styles. Experimenters donned
hippie or straight attire and asked college students on campus for a dime
to make a phone call. When the experimenter was dressed in the same
way as the student, the request was granted in more than two thirds of all
instances; when the student and requester were dissimilarly dressed, the
dime was provided less than half the time.[9] Numerous studies conclude
that your audience is most responsive to individuals who dress and act
similarly to them.

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