How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 189
the source (if available) of his error. You might also try to
convince others you did the right thing.
Separation — You separate the attitudes that are in conflict. This
compartmentalizes your cognitions, making it easier for you to
ignore or even forget the discrepancy. In your mind, what
happens in one area of your life (or someone else's) should not
affect the other areas of your life.
Rationalization — You find excuses for why the inconsistency is
acceptable. You change your expectations or try to alter what
really happened. You also find reasons to justify your behavior or
your opinions.
Consider how each of the above strategies could apply if the following
experience actually happened in your own life: Your favorite politician,
the local mayor, for whom you campaigned and voted, is in trouble. You
spent your own time and money convincing family, friends, and neighbors
to vote for this candidate. You thought he was a family man, a man of
values, somebody who could be trusted. Now, after two years in office,
he's been caught red-handed having an affair with an office staff member,
who is barely older than his daughter. The news creates dissonance inside
you. To alleviate the dissonance, you might react in any one or
combination of the following ways:
Denial — "This is just the media going after him. He is doing a
great job, so the opposing party is trying to smear his good name.
This will all blow over when the facts come out. It's all just a big
misunderstanding."
Modification — "I can't believe I voted for this guy. I feel
swindled and taken advantage of. I really mistook him for a man
of character. I need to apologize to my family and friends. I
cannot support a man who does not honor his wedding vows."
Reframing — "The media said affair. Well, I'm sure he didn't
actually sleep with her. Maybe they're just good friends. I'm sure
his wife knew all about the whole thing. Even if they did have an
affair, who doesn't? Is it that big of a deal?"
Search — "I've heard about the reporter breaking this story. He's
blown things out of proportion before. All the friends I've talked
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