How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 190

to don't think the story is true. In fact, this reporter has been against the mayor from the time he became a candidate. I'm going to call that reporter right now."  Separation — "I voted for him and he is doing a great job. Inflation is low, unemployment is not a problem, and crime has been reduced. He is doing everything he said he would. It does not matter what he does in his private life. What matters is how he is doing his job. There is no connection between an affair and his job performance."  Rationalization — "Well, his wife is cold to him and she's never around when he needs her. She's never really supported him since he took office. After all, she still has her own business. Maybe this is just a marriage of convenience and this relationship is part of their agreement." Everyday Examples of Dissonance Listed below are some situations that might create dissonance.  You are a strict vegetarian but you see a stylish leather jacket on sale and want to buy it.  You made a New Year's resolution to exercise every day. It is now halfway through February, and you have not yet been to the gym once.  You are on a stringent diet when you see Ben and Jerry's icecream on sale at the grocery store. "Buyer's remorse" is also a form of dissonance. When we purchase a product or service, we tend to look for ways to convince ourselves that we made the right decision. If the people around us or other factors make us question our decision, we experience buyer's remorse. On feeling this inconsistency, we'll look for anything — facts, peer validation, expert opinion — to reduce the dissonance in our minds concerning the purchase. Some of us even use selective exposure to minimize the risk of seeing or hearing something that could cause dissonance. Often people won't even tell family or friends about their purchase or decision because they know it will create dissonance. 190