How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 188
uncomfortable state, they will naturally be inclined to adjust their
behaviors or attitudes to regain mental and emotional consistency. When
our beliefs, attitudes, and actions mesh, we live harmoniously. When they
don't, we feel dissonance at some level — that is, we feel awkward,
uncomfortable, unsettled, disturbed, upset, nervous, or confused. In order
to eliminate or reduce such tension, we will do everything possible to
change our attitudes and behavior, even if it means doing something we
don't want to do.
Imagine that there is a big rubber band inside you. When dissonance is
present, the rubber band begins to stretch. As long as the dissonance
exists, the band stretches tighter and tighter. You've got to take action
before it reaches a breaking point and snaps. The motivation to reduce the
tension is what causes us to change; we will do everything in our power to
get back in balance. We seek psycho-emotional stasis at all times, much
like we experience the ever-present, driving need for food and water to
satisfy our physical being.
Methods of Protecting Mental Consistency
When we feel cognitive dissonance, we have to find a way to deal with
the psychological tension. We have an arsenal of tools at our disposal to
help us return to cognitive consistency. The following list outlines
different ways people seek to reduce dissonance.
Denial — To shut out the dissonance, you deny there is a
problem. You do this either by ignoring or demeaning the source
of the