How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 187

Chapter 3
The Rule of Dissonance
Internal Pressure Is the Secret
Overview
There is only one way . . . to get anybody to do anything. And that is by
making the other person want to do it.
—DALE CARNEGIE
Most of us feel more harmony in our lives when everything is consistent:
our jobs, our homes, our habits, even our soft drinks. Consistency is the
glue that holds everything in our lives together, thereby allowing us to
cope with the world. Think of all the people you admire. I'll bet, by and
large, most of them are consistent, congruent people. What they believe,
what they say, and what they do (even when no one is watching) flow
together seamlessly. Typically, a high degree of such consistency in one's
life is indicative of personal and intellectual strength.
People are naturally more inclined — even subconsciously — to gravitate
toward and follow individuals who are consistent in their behavior. The
converse is also true: Inconsistency in one's personal and professional life
is generally considered undesirable. The person whose beliefs, words, and
deeds don't consistently match up is seen as hypocritical, two-faced,
confused, or even mentally ill.
The Theory of Cognitive Dissonance
Leon Festinger formulated the cognitive dissonance theory in 1957 at
Stanford University. He asserted, "When attitudes conflict with actions,
attitudes or beliefs, we are uncomfortable and motivated to try to change."
Festinger's theory sets the foundation for the Law of Dissonance, one of
the twelve laws of Maximum Influence.
The Law of Dissonance states that people will naturally act in a manner
that is consistent with their cognitions (beliefs, attitudes, and values).
Therefore, when people behave in a manner that is inconsistent with these
cognitions, they find themselves in a state of discomfort. In such an
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