How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 465

Here are the thoughts, actions and emotions of healthy
anger:
Thoughts

 "They are responsible for their actions." That's right. If someone did
something that triggered your anger, they are totally responsible for what
they did. But they are not responsible for how you felt about what they did!
That's your deal. This is positive, smart, healthy anger management for
teens.
 "I'm responsible for my reactions." No matter what somebody does,
they don't "make you mad." You either get angry or you don't, and that is
your responsibility completely. What's cool about this is that responsibility
gives you freedom! If you think somebody "made you mad," then you're
saying they made your heart race and set your blood boiling and made you
think all those thoughts racing through your head. Nope, that's you doing
that. Other people might push your buttons, but you're in charge of the
wiring behind those buttons! This is the kind of anger management for
people who want to be the boss of their own emotions.
 "How can I get stronger, smarter and safer from this?" Here's the
freedom that comes with taking responsibility! You take a look at the
situation, and say to yourself, "How can I make this work for me?" Then
you look for ways to make that happen.
Actions

 Find healthy emotional release. This is sooo
important! When you're feeling angry, you don't
want to just hold that inside--it becomes toxic and
it'll make you sick or crazy! Getting outside, working
out, talking to a friend or writing in a journal will
help. You want to get that anger out into some
fresh air, and get some fresh perspective on it, so it
doesn't go sour and make you bitter!
 Use a spiritual practice for focus and healing.
If it works for you and your beliefs, prayer can really
help for getting clear and chilling when you're angry. If you're a member of a
church, it might give you some comfort and release to just go and hang out
there or talk to one of your church leaders. You're the one who knows if
this will work for you as part of your anger management skills.
1338