How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 147

laundry list of complaints from the past against you. Five
years from now, you could be hearing about the angry
remark you made today (which you didn't even mean in the
first place). Impossible people will seize anything that
provides them the opportunity to lay blame like it was gold.
10. Give up self-defense. Understand very clearly that you
cannot beat these kinds of people; they're called "impossible"
for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all
wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them
consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no
consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what.
11. Understand that eventually, you and the impossible
person will have to part ways. Whether they are a friend, a
family member, a parent, even a spouse, the time to leave will
eventually manifest. Maintaining a relationship with an
impossible person is, literally, impossible. If you can't (or
won't) make a physical departure immediately, make a
mental one. In your mind, you've already left the relationship.
The only thing left to do is wait for physical reality to reflect
that fact.
12. Avoid letting the impossible person make you into a
"clone" of them. If you aren't careful, you could find yourself
adopting much of the offender's own behavior, even if you
aren't voluntarily trying. Eschew blame entirely by
understanding that this is just the way the other person is.
These things define the impossible person's actions, and
nothing you do can change any part of their past.
13. Be a manager. Until it is over, your task in the relationship is
to manage the impossible person, so that he or she deals less
damage to you. As a manager, your best resources are silence
(it really is golden in some cases such as this), humoring the
other, and abandoning all hope of "fixing" the impossible
person. Impossible people do not listen to reason. They can't
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