How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 148

(and even if they could, they wouldn't). You can't convince
them that they have any responsibility for the problems
between you. They don't recognize (or if they did, wouldn't
try to improve) their flaws for a very logical reason; they
don't have any flaws. You must understand and manage this
mindset without casting blame and without giving in to
anger. It's far easier said than done, and you will slip from
time to time, but as time goes on, you'll become a better
manager.
14. Realize that impossible people engage in projection.
Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all)
of this behavior yourself. If your impossible person gets a
look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you.
Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person's
flaws and failings will always be attributed to you.
Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything!
They will have an endless supply of arguments to support
this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they
will be more than happy to tell you why you are the
impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the
mistaken impression that it is them.
15. Be the opposite of them: a possible person. Live as an
example of tolerance, patience, humility, and even some
kindness (as difficult as that may be). We are all influenced
by the people in our environment--they don't have to be
perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because
you are human. If you don't receive respect, that's -sadlytheir problem. Give understanding, and you get
understanding. Ultimately this sort of behavior is probably
the only thing that might get through to them. They may not
change in everything, but you can safely expect a change.
16. Don't try to fight back and spit anger back to them.

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