How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 146

Avoid one-on-ones with this type of person, actively; in other
words, when you see them coming to corner you, suggest,
and then demand that at least a third party be brought in.
This will often thwart the impossible person's plans, and a
typical response from them will be to unilaterally decide that
"we don't need anyone else." You are perfectly free to claim
your need for a third party to help your understanding, and
insist upon it. Bullies never stand up to a crowd.
7. Realize that you cannot deal with impossible people the
same way you deal with everyone else. In some ways, they
need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging
these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will
never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened
the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion
about the status of your relationship with this person.
Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed
for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against
a brick wall.
8. Protect your self-esteem. If you have regular dealings with
someone who tries to portray you as the source of all evil,
you need to take active steps to maintain a positive selfimage. Remind yourself that this person's opinion is not
necessarily the truth. Understand that oftentimes, impossible
people are particularly "fact-challenged." If the attacks have
little basis in raw fact, dismiss them. You can't possibly be as
bad as this person would like you to believe you are. Do not
defend yourself out loud, however. It will only provoke the
impossible person into another tirade.
9. Guard against anger. If it helps, consider the fact that your
anger is actually a precious gift to the impossible person.
Anything you do or say while angry will be used against you
over and over again. Impossible people tend to have amazing
memories, and they will not hesitate to use a nearly endless

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