How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 98

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Counsellor: Want to try it? (The client nods.) Okay, try to identify some positive aspects of your fear. Client: Well, I guess I’m not the only one who is scared of public speaking. Counsellor: So you know that there will be other people in the class who understand and will be cheering for you to succeed. Client: I never thought of that before. Here’s another idea: Because I’m so nervous, I’m going to make sure that I’m really prepared. Counsellor: Great! Do you think it might be possible to look at your fears differently? Consider that it’s normal to be nervous. Or go a step further and look at it positively. Maybe there’s a part of it that’s exciting — kind of like going to a scary movie. Analysis The counsellor’s short self-disclosure communicates understanding and a nonjudgmental attitude. One tenet of cognitive behavioural counselling is that people tend to pay too much attention to the negative aspects of their situations while ignoring positives or other explanations. As a rule, it’s more empowering for clients to generate their own suggestions before counsellors introduce their ideas and suggestions. In this way clients become self-confronting and are more likely to come up with ideas that they will accept as credible. In this example the client is able to generate a reframe, which the counsellor embellishes. In other situations, counsellors might introduce reframes of their own. The counsellor offers the client a reframed way of looking at nervousness. Client: I did come back to school because I hated my boring job. One thing is for sure, I’m not bored. Counsellor: So the more you scare yourself, the more you get your money’s worth. (The counsellor and the client laugh.) Counsellor: Here’s an idea that works. If you agree, I’d like you to try it over the next week. Every time you notice yourself starting to get overwhelmed or feeling distressed, imagine a stop sign in your mind and immediately substitute a healthier thought. Analysis The client’s response suggests that this notion is plausible. Spontaneous humour helps the client see her problems in a lighter way (yet another reframe). Another example of counselling homework. The counsellor introduces thought stopping— a technique to help clients control self-defeating thinking (Gilliland & James, 1998; Cormier & Cormier, 1985). The basic assumption is that if self-defeating thoughts are interrupted, they will eventually be replaced by more empowering, positive perspectives. At this point the counsellor could also help the client develop different choice strategies for dealing with dysfunctional thinking, such as an activity diversion to shift attention, use of a prepared cue card with a positive thought recorded, imagining success, or substituting a different image. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 98