How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 97

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Counsellor: Can you remember a time in the last few days when these feelings were particularly strong? What was going through your mind at the time just before class? Analysis Eliciting and exploring examples such as this provides a database for helping this client understand how her thoughts contribute to her feelings. Significantly, probes to discover thin king patterns may reveal “inner dialogue” (self-defeating thought patterns) or images. Client: Yesterday, I was scheduled to make my first class presentation. I was thinking that I was going to make a fool of myself in front of the whole class. Everyone else seems so confident when they talk, but I haven’t been in school for 20 years. Counsellor: And that made you feel . . . Client: Stupid and terrified. I finally phoned in sick. Counsellor: So, here we have an example of how what you were thinking—“I’m going to make a fool of myself”—influenced how you were feeling and what you did. Does this make sense to you? Let’s use the ABC model to illustrate it. (The counsellor uses a flip chart: A [activating situation]—thinking of making the presentation; B [belief]—“I’m going to look like a fool”; C [consequent emotion]—fear, feeling overwhelmed. Counsellor: If you agree, I’d like to ask you to make notes during the next week when you find yourself feeling worse. When this happens, I want you to pay attention to what’s going through your mind. Analysis Earlier the counsellor and the client discussed the essential elements of cognitive behavioural counselling. Now the client’s example can be used to reinforce the principles. Using a flip chart or drawing is very helpful for many clients, particularly for those who are less comfortable in the verbal modality. Homework is essential to effective cognitive behavioural counselling. Here, the homework creates an opportunity for the client to become more familiar with how her feelings and behaviour are intimately connected to her thinking. In the next session (excerpted below) the counsellor uses reframing and thought stopping as tools to help the client change her thinking. Counsellor: Your journal is great. You’ve identified lots of great examples. Let’s try something different for a minute. What if it were possible to look at your fears differently? (Client nods approval.) Analysis The counsellor introduces the possibility of reframing. Counsellor: I think it’s natural when we have a problem to dwell on all its unpleasant aspects. I know that I tend to do that unless I discipline myself not to. For example, when you think of how nervous you are, you think of all the negatives, such as you might make a fool of yourself, or your mind might go blank while you’re talking. Client: (Laughs.) Or that I might throw up in front of everyone. Counsellor: Okay, those are real fears. But by considering only your fears, you become fixated on the negatives and you may be overlooking some important positives. If you can look at it differently, you might discover a whole new way of dealing with your class presentation. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 97