How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 94

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Helping Clients Change Thinking Patterns When people learn to pay attention to their thoughts, they are more apt to test the reality of the truth of their beliefs. When people learn to recognize those thoughts that are dysfunctional, perhaps because they impede action and goal attainment or they cause distress, they can take steps to change their thinking. Among the strategies that counsellors can use to assist clients to change maladaptive thinking are the following: ■ reframing ■ encouraging clients to seek out information and data ■ suggesting to clients that they talk with others about their assumptions ■ Socratic questioning targeting overlooked areas ■ direct challenge of the validity of beliefs ■ teaching empathic skills as a way to help clients learn about other perspectives ■ brainstorming to generate new ideas and explanations ■ thought-stopping techniques to overcome self-defeating inner dialogue Here are some examples of questions that can be used to help clients shift perspective: ■ How are your thoughts consistent with the evidence? ■ How do you know this to be true? Do you have facts or are you assuming? ■ What are some other ways of thinking about your situation? ■ If a friend thought this way about his situation, what would you say to him? Reframing Reframing is a counselling skill that helps clients shift or modify their thinking by suggesting alternative interpretations or new meanings. It empowers clients by focusing on solutions and redefining negatives as opportunities or challenges. Client stubbornness might be reframed as independence, or greediness as ambitiousness. Example: Carl, age 11, is playing baseball by himself. He throws the ball into the air and exclaims, “I’m the greatest batter in the world.” He swings and misses. Once again, he tosses the ball into the air and says, “I’m the greatest batter in the world.” He swings and misses. A third time he throws the ball into the air proclaiming emphatically, “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world.” Success Tip Help clients practise thought stopping to break the pattern of repetitive self-defeating thought patterns. Techniques include thought replacement (immediately substituting rational ideas or pleasant thoughts for unwanted ones), yelling “stop” in one’s mind until the undesired thought disappears, snapping an elastic band on the wrist to shift thinking, and activity diversion. Before presenting reframed ideas, counsellors should use active listening skills to fully understand the client’s current perspective. As well, empathy is crucial; otherwise, clients may conclude that their feelings are being discounted or trivialized. Moreover, reframing should not be confused with platitudes, such as “It’s always darkest just before dawn,” which are typically not very supportive or helpful. An example of a well-meaning but misguided reframe that people give in times of grief over the loss of a child is “You’re young—you can have more children.” “Because strong emotions of sadness and loss are present, most people cannot accept a reframing that does not take into For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 94