How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 95

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! account the most salient feature of their experience—the grief itself ” (Young, 1998, p. 282). Reframing should not trivialize complex problems with pat answers; rather, it should offer a reasonable and usable alternative frame of reference. Client’s Perspective or Statement Counsellor’s Initiative to Reframe This counselling is a waste of time. Sounds as if you’ve done some thinking about how our work could be more relevant to you. I don’t fit in. I come from a different culture and my ideas and values must seem strange. Of course. Some people have not had much experience with your culture, and they may be frightened. Perhaps you could look at this in a different way. Your experiences might also be fascinating for people who have not lived outside the country. They might welcome your fresh ideas. I’m very shy. When I first join a group, I usually don’t say anything. You like to be patient until you have a sense of what’s happening. People who are impulsive are workin g to develop this skill. You also seem to want to develop alternatives, such as being more expressive in the beginning. For the first time in 20 years, I’m without a job Obviously, this is devastating. At the same time I wonder if this might also be an opportunity for you to try something different. Whenever I’m late for curfew, mother waits up for me and immediately starts screaming at me. I’m curious about why she might do this. Perhaps she has trouble telling you how scared she is that something may have happened to you. It might seem strange, but her anger could be her way of saying how much she loves you. My life is a mess. I’ve lived on the streets for the last six months. Sounds like you’ve had to survive under conditions that might have defeated most people. How did you do that? Success Tip The fact that a client firmly defends a lifestyle that he knows is unworkable is proof that he is in need of great assistance and support. (Wicks & Parsons, 1984, p. 171) Clark (1998) offers guidelines for using reframing: 1. Use reframing to help clients break out of thinking that is self-defeating, constricted, or at an impasse. 2. Make sure that clients are not so emotionally distracted that they are unable to hear or process the reframed idea. 3. Offer a reframed idea in a tentative way that invites consideration. 4. Ensure that reframed ideas are plausible. 5. Allow clients sufficient time to consider a reframed idea. Clients with firmly entrenched perspectives may not immediately accept logical and sound reframes, but with gentle persuasion and patience they may begin to accept new ideas. Even though it may be obvious that a client’s thinking is distorted, it may be wise to hold For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 95