How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 121

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! - So, what you are saying is … - Sounds to me like you …. - The way you see things … - To you, this means … - So, you are saying that … - I guess it is your opinion that … - If I understand correctly … - You’ve always thought …, but now you found out that … Some manuals use the term “reflecting” to indicate reflection of meaning (thoughts) only and use “paraphrasing” for referring to reflecting thoughts AND emotions Reflecting Feelings Reflecting Feelings - or Repeating Feelings - is very similar to paraphrasing, but instead of reflecting the meaning, the service provider now reflects the emotions that are the basis of other person’s words. Reflecting feelings resorts a much stronger effect, because the individual will experience that the service provider is not only understanding him, but is also empathizing with his feelings. Reflecting feelings is the basis of emphatic listening and creates rapport. Naming the feeling that you recognize in their story, helps people to define and explore their own feelings and become more aware of their seriousness. Reflecting is very useful also when you feel people are rattling information without feeling involved. Reflecting gives the person an idea of what is being interpreted from their information. It can help him/her identify what he or she is feeling and projecting. Tone of voice and pointing out what is being heard or sensing helps make sense of the confusion and adds to rapport. Reflecting means telling the person how they are being seen such as "You look really worried (scared, etc.)" or heard such as "You sound very anxious, (angry, etc.)". Reflecting is giving feedback on the situation such as "You seem so tense right now, what would help you relax while we talk?" An objective party is an ideal person to provide this sort of feedback. Feedback is a way to communicate thoughts and reactions to another person. Example of a specific method to present feedback:  Identify what you are thinking, feeling, etc.  Identify the behavior that you think provoked your response.  Indicate how this might impact the individual. (For example), "It concerns me when you talk about committing suicide, even though you've said that you are not serious; it may scare others enough that they don't want to talk to you about it or about your situation." The person has a lot to gain by hearing honest, direct feedback in a sensitive way. People who are too closely related to the problem may hesitate for fear of hurting someone, fear of a reprisal or they may just feel inadequate in handling a sensitive situation. Unfortunately, if the person is not aware of how his or her behaviour affects others, he or she can't change. This type of feedback should always be given in a very thoughtful way or else the person may shut down and not discuss their thoughts or feelings with anyone. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 121