How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 10
3. Create Rapport
We all know that “A man convinced against his will, remains of the same opinion still ..”
That is why every sales- or hypnosis course
and every article about dating will tell you that
you need to start with creating as much rapport
as possible.
Only after you have created sufficiently
emotional connection and trust, will your
listener feel comfortable enough to actually
listen to you, and accept and emotionally
respond to images that you are describing.
How to create rapport?
A/ Mirror your listener’s body language
That is: his posture, movements, breathing
rhythm and physical state.
Why? Copying his behavior causes him to feel
similar to you, which in turn will lead to your
listener starting to copy you in response
B/ Confirm and match your listener’s inner
world.
That is: his values, perceptions, beliefs,
emotions, ideas and assumptions.
Why? when you copy your listener’s way of
seeing the world (visual, audio …), his way of
expressing himself (words and expressions he uses), repeat his values, accept him as he is and confirm him in his
beliefs and opinions, he will listen to you, accept what you are saying and start to like you because he will see you
as very similar to himself and will appreciate the respect you show him. After all, you are confirming him in what and
how he is and what you are telling, is the truth, such as he too perceives it.
Some useful techniques for creating rapport :
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Agree, Praise and Confirm
Overall empathic interaction
Copy patterns of speech, words and images used
Tell about similar experiences
Ask for advice
Insert pauses between phrases, talk slowly, whisper
Examples:
O.k., right, exactly my idea,
I have that same feeling all the time
I was just about to say exactly the same thing
You are great, smart, good, …
I couldn’t agree more
How would you … ? What would you do if … ?
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