How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Starts With Non Violent Communication

Some strategies that may enhance your learning : • Think back why you continued reading this document until here. Remember these intentions often and take responsibility for their fulfillment. • Pause often to notice what is going on within you … connect to your own feelings & needs • Express your needs and ask for what would fulfill them. • When another person is speaking, focus on their feelings & needs. • When another person is speaking, pause or check in to see if they are complete before expressing what is wrong, remembering that each of us are trying to get our needs met in the best way we know how • … only you are responsible for your intentions, your feelings, your needs, your choices … … only I am responsible for my intentions, my feelings, my needs, my choices … Creating The Community Space That Nurtures Learning And Connecting We are each co-creating and contributing to the quality of the community space that holds us, whether we are conscious of it or not. What my intention is, where I focus my attention, and the choices I make … each of these becomes a part of the texture of the space. In my experience, certain qualities in that space support connection and learning among us: • a space of remembering our common intention for coming together … to connect with one another … to learn and grow in our understanding of that connection and in the process of NVC that takes us toward it • a space of inclusiveness … where each person is invited and given the space to be heard … where your needs matter as much as my own • a space of authenticity … where I vulnerably express my own feelings & needs as best I can • a space of empathy … where I strive to hear feelings and needs no matter what is being said … where I give each person plenty of space until that person has been fully heard • a space of conscious choice … where I strive to hold our common intention, the needs of each person, and my own needs as I choose how to best meet these needs … where I honor the choices of those around me • a space of compassion … where there are no judgments, no right or wrong, no demands, no punishments or rewards … only people trying to get their needs met in the best way they know how stirred up in you. • Remember: we are all doing the best that we can Some strategies that may enhance your learning : • Get empathy. Empathy is the fuel we need to connect. • Find an empathy buddy & meet at least weekly. • Participate in an NVC practice group. • Meet with an experienced mentor who can nurture your growth • Participate in a 7-day or 9-day NVC immersion training • Strive to live NVC throughout your life: at home, in your workplace, in the organizations in which you participate • Pause often to notice what is going on within you … connect to your own feelings & needs • Meditate on needs • Love your jackal … he has many gifts for you

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