How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Starts With Non Violent Communication | Page 8

4 Ears:
1. Blaming others
(attacking)
2. Blaming ourselves
(submitting)
3. Sensing our own feelings & needs
4. Sensing others’ feelings & needs
Blaming is the realm of the jackal. The jackal part of us sees the only choices as fight, submit or flee.
More than likely, the jackal doesn’t even see choices, but responds in a habitual or automatic
manner.
We are each responsible for how we hear what other people are saying.
Connection is the realm of the giraffe. The giraffe part of us knows that there are two ways to connect
in any moment: to sense our own feelings & needs, or to sense the feelings & needs